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Memories of my Brother
by Tom Farley
The Farley family loved to laugh. We were a large, Irish family growing up in the Midwest who wanted to see humor in everything. Laughter to us was a tonic. It made the good times better and the bad times somewhat less so. Most of all, we really loved to just make each other laugh. And that, I think, was what made Chris so enjoyable to watch.
For Chris it wasn't enough to just "be" funny; he really wanted and needed to make you laugh and feel good. The sincerity with which he was able to do that was obvious, whether you saw him on stage, on screen, or up close in person. Chris' humor was right from the heart. He never scripted his jokes or worked on creating a better "act." He simply thought of something funny and went with it.
But what I remember best about Chris was how he loved to laugh. Some comedians need all the attention; they crave it. Not Chris. He would double up at the slightest of jokes, which I saw him do countless times; with friends and comedians alike. And when the joke was on him, Chris was hysterical. He loved it!
Throughout our years growing up, I could never understand how Chris was able to get himself in trouble with a teacher, a coach, or our parents, and still come away with them smiling and rolling their eyes. Now I just marvel at that skill. I sure hope my kids find that ability some day - what an gift!
Imagine Chris (the accused) standing before a teacher who is scolding him on some infraction. As she recites to him exactly what he has done to disrupt her class, the teacher (listening to her own words) begins to realize just how funny the stunt really was. Better yet, all of this is fully supported by an almost angelic look Chris could display, backed up by a genuine Catholic need for seeking forgiveness. He literally wanted everyone to see the humor in what he had done; even the person he knew would eventually have to discipline him for it.
Chris was always willing to make others happy. He was our little wind-up toy. When we wanted to be amused, we asked Chris to do something outrageous, and he delivered. This willingness to do anything had consequences. I imagine that deep down Chris had a very strong need to be accepted. Fairly typical of your average teenager. But a lifetime of being overweight made that acceptance all the more difficult in Chris' mind and probably caused a good deal of self-doubt in him. So, he did some things that his conscience and good reason told him would ultimately not be the best for him. Chris chose the immediate pleasure he got in pleasing others over the long-term cost to himself. When people around him started to drink and take drugs, Chris joined in. The ability to say no was just not there.
The role of the older brother is often one of setting the right example and being the model for others to follow. But I look back at some things my younger brother did and can only wish I could someday live up to his standard. Little is known or told of how, while a cast member of Saturday Night Live, Chris would attend Mass almost daily and often helped out in a local senior center connected to his church. He also loved to visit children's wards in hospitals. He was very serious about his faith and service to the community. The smile on the faces of those he helped was worth gold to Chris.
But for me the single most memorable moment in Chris' life was when he asked me to attend his third anniversary of sobriety at an AA meeting that he would be leading. The address he gave me was surprising at first. It was on the far west side of New York, in an area known as Hell's Kitchen. The building was dark and completely run down. Manhattan hosts many AA meetings each day, many in the ritzier parts of the city - Fifth Avenue, Park Avenue, Upper East Side. But Chris chose this meeting. It was where he met each week for three years. Upstairs, I found Chris at the head of the room conducting a meeting that was filled with what looked like refugees from the nearest homeless shelter. But here was Chris talking about the disease he shared with everyone in the room; a disease that made him no better or worse than each person present. That was so much like him. And I will never forget how they all looked at Chris with admiration and respect. Not because he was a famous actor but because, like them, he was battling a very powerful enemy. A battle that they all would fight each day for the rest of their lives. But that day, they had won their battles. And when Chris was finished, we all celebrated and had cake. Chris loved that day. So did I.
The Chris Farley Foundation
Chris Farley, one of the most popular comic actors in the world, died of the effects of substance abuse at the age of 33. Chris's battle with drugs, his memory and his humor are at the heart of The Chris Farley Foundation. We want to reach Chris's audience - teens, high school students and young adults. We want to talk about the dangers of drugs with honesty and credibility. And we want to do it - as Chris would have - with humor.
The Chris Farley Foundation is dedicated to:
- Educating the next generation about the risks and dangers of drug and alcohol abuse
- Communicating relevant information to teenagers
- Achieving maximum effectiveness by employing comedy to reach our audience
The Chris Farley Foundation wants to challenge and empower kids to respond differently when confronted by pressure from their peers to use drugs and alcohol. We want them to THINK. LAUGH. LIVE.
Notes
Brother of actors John Farley and Kevin Farley.
Was the first choice to play the title character in The Cable Guy (1996), but another commitment prevented him from taking the role.
Was slated to play the title character in Shrek (originally planned as a claymation movie) before his untimely death.
Acting Appearances
Starring Roles
Saturday Night Live (1991-1995) - Himself (Seasons 16-20)
Guest Starring Roles
TV Tales - Himself (archive footage) - Saturday Night Live (2002)
Saturday Night Live - Himself (archive footage) - 25th Anniversary Special (1999)
E! True Hollywood Story - Himself - Chris Farley (1999)
Saturday Night Live - Himself - Chris Farley/The Mighty Mighty Bosstones (1997)
The Tonight Show with Jay Leno - Guest - 970110 (1997)
Road Rules - Himself - Season II: Pulling a Farley (1996)
Late Show with David Letterman - Guest - Show #0538 (1996)
Saturday Night Live - Himself - Danny Aiello/Coolio (1996)
Dennis Miller Live - Himself - Fitness (1995)
Late Show with David Letterman - Guest - Show #0349 (1995)
Late Show with David Letterman - Guest - Show #0155 (1994)
Tom - Chris - He's Heavy, He's My Brother (1994) The Larry Sanders Show - Himself - L.A. or N.Y.? (1993)
The Jackie Thomas Show - Chris Thomas - Ottumwa, 52501 (1992)
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