Dan McLaughlin

Stories

Damn What the Hell
In eight grade we went on a class trip to Washington DC with the seventh graders. When we were there we went to this place, I don't remember what it was, but here is the story. While we were in the place I had to go to the bathroom so I went into the bathroom and there were a lot of people in there. I saw one of the toilets were opened so I went in and closed the door, but when I looked down at the toilet it was nasty. The seat was completely covered with pee and there was stuff in the toilet, but I had to pee really bad so I went anyway. When I opened the door to the stale there was a guy standing outside of it waiting and he walked in. Then he saw all the nasty stuff and was like, "Damn what the hell you piss all over the sit and don't even flush the toilet!" and I was like, "It wasn't me it was like that when I got in there!" One of the seventh graders was watching this and he was like, "What you do?" and I was like, "Nothing, this guy keeps yelling at me." So then we walked out of the bathroom and I could not stop laughing and I told the story to Dan and "damn what the hell" became one of the best lines and we said it all the time.

The Greatest Piss of my Life
One time Dan had this bon fire at his house with a bunch of people. We were all sitting around talking and stuff, but then I had to pee. For some reason I didn't want to go in his house and go so I just sat there holding it in and every once in a while saying, "Man I have to pee." Eventually I couldn't hold it anymore so I looked over to Dan and said, "Okay give me exact directions to your bathroom." and he said, "Go right inside the door and turn to your left." So I got up and ran in there and took about a 5 minute long piss and when back outside. When I got outside I sat down and I was like, "That was the greatest piss of my life." But I must have said it too loud because everyone heard me and started laughing. And ever sense that day I have not had a piss that great.

The kid the fell down the stairs at Rave
The first time Dan and I went to Rave Motion Pictures to see a movie called Monsters Inc. this kid almost fell down the stairs. The movie was over and everyone was walking down the stairs leaving the theater, but the railing on the stairs is in section (not just one long rail). So I was fallowing this kid and he was with his dad. The kid must not have noticed the railing was in sections because he almost fell all the way down, but I think his dad caught him. Anyway I thought this was hilarious, but I didn't want to laugh because his dad was right next to me so I tried to hold it in. Then I hear Dan behind me laughing it up so it wasn't easy to hold it in. Finally we got out of the theater and made fun of the stupid kid.

Watch out for that chair Charlie
Dan and I were sitting in the TV Studio in the basement of Precious Blood talking to each other when all of a sudden this kid named Charlie comes up and kicks me. I think the teacher might have saw him, but I don't know. So I stand up and push him and say, "Watch out for that chair Charlie." And he runs into the chair then gets up and runs out of the room crying. The funny thing is that he didn't just run straight out the door crying, first he ran all the way around the room and then out the door. And the teacher just looked at me and shook her head, she didn't even say anything. Then me and Dan sit back down and continue talking.

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